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[May. 10th, 2012.08:56 pm] |
WE ARE ALL EMO KIDS
I AM AN EMO KID
What would I do without my outrageous unpredictable cute
AND.I.MEAN.CUTE.
friends
The gung-ho ones that venture out in the night with 60cents in hand
Going out of the way just to make your day a lil better
And in so doing
Makes your LIFE better
Not to mention a lil sweeter
Its truly like a teeny slice of heaven
A glow of immense joy and warmth in your heart :)
I am so appreciative.
In terms of sacrifice ranking
My friends, you come second behind Jesus in my life
God may not have blessed me with the best brains and abilities
But he has definitely blessed me with the best people
Hehe guess its true, you believe in people more than the process
Here's to a bold big future with my pals!
To you i will forever hold on so tightly to because you are souls
That i never want to lose
Well like a friend said
" We are gonna kickass so bad that they'll have to applaud
For we DARE them to do otherwise "
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| (no subject) |
[May. 10th, 2012.07:08 pm] |
Life is just so hard
But watching everyone struggle and work hard to achieve what they do
Makes me glad to be human |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 17th, 2012.11:56 pm] |
So I embarked on my assignment
It's been 3 hours
anddd
All I have is clean hair, a lj post and an itch
SERIOUSLY ESTHER WHERE IS YOUR FOCUS |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 17th, 2012.11:49 pm] |
Aren't friends just so necessary :-)
It's kinda selfish of me though, because its always about what they can do for me.
Just like how my gals have been so supportive of my dreams.
Dreams I've never even considered chasing after... I wonder why .... hmm
I know, sounds lame and disney-ish ha-ha-ha
But their presence is a real mega giant strength-giver
It makes me bold, it makes me courageous, it makes me impulsive.
These are things I've obviously lost along the way, or just assumed I've never possessed.
I'm a coward, especially when it comes to trying things
That are not definitive where I live
Here comes my whiny side again HEH (I'm just not a very concise person)
Dont know if its because I'm hungry or because I have a lit assignment to be done
But all I know is, my unknown and uncovered adventurous streak is pulsating within me.
I just want to GO -- with no money, no place to live, no plans, no idea where to start.
But if I never leave, never take the risk to leave my comfortable stable life
guess I'll never get a chance to realize anything
I want to experience, I want to find, and I want to feel.
Things I know I probably won't have if I go the obvious route
of choosing an income-guaranteed university course
and then opting for an income-guaranteed job
I'm not all that original
I'm not all that talented
I'm not all that special
But would pure interest and passion be enough?
I keep wondering these things
I want to push myself and see what I'm capable of if given the chance
The Chance that will only come if I'm willing to try
But there are all these fears holding me back
There's the dreamer me and there's the realistic logical me
I want to be happy doing what I love but I don't want to be penniless either
If only I could earn a living doing what I enjoy
Then again if I never give it a shot, I'll never know if its possible :-)
Guess its time to find out
And I'm glad for these friends I've made in my
12 year meritocratic Singaporean education.
Feels like I can take on anything .... FURREAL
With people like these around
None of it seems so scary and foreign
At least I know I'm not totally hardcore,
Still going to need those few familiar faces and warmth
But well here I Esther So stand
(or sit in my case, behind this box we all call Computer)
Probably with no scholarship or parent funding
Ready for the sacrifice, the pain
Ready to face the fight for SURVIVAL
Ready to leave my comfy cushion
And who knows maybe one day I'll write a novel of the whole experience
We have such great hopes for our lives
as we ate our sandwiches
in the humid crowded canteen
Wondering how great it would be if we could form the Yuppy community
Crystal and her art,
Jinny and her hot shots,
Rain and her countless enterprises...
There's just so much to do in life!
It'd be great to be
Sharing an apartment somewhere,
Waking up in PJs and going to buy Bagels,
Attempting to bake red velvet cupcakes,
Riding our bikes along everywhere
We'll see :)
I must now finish my assignment
MEH
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2012.04:38 pm] |
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I am guilty of not being genuine |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2012.04:38 pm] |
We will run
Together with our hearts Aflame
Witha a fire that can't be tamed |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 15th, 2012.04:33 pm] |
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My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet - Mahatma Gandhi (this was on my economics reflection worksheet HAHAHA) |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2011.11:49 pm] |
NOSTALGIA
this always happens to me sigh
i will always
chance upon those random untitled folders
that have a mixture of photos from across the years
of random events and dates in my school,church,family life
but because of the randomness
it makes it all the more nice and pleasant to look through
it kinda shows you pictures of your life the past years
in snippets
and you see your kakis
and you see people you NEVER spoke to from your class
and you see people you once hated, in the far blurry background
and most of the time,
the uglier i am in any photo,
the more natural and happier i look --- the more it was ME (freaking disney moment)
Who doesn't miss the young ugly me when look weren't important
and i love how spontaneous and creative we used to be with our pictures
that any picture we took was always so dynamic and full of joy and love
and we would always spam a whole lot of photos
because we knew three quarters of them you would see a fat thigh
or a double chin ha-ha-ha
It was the age of Purposefully Gross Disgusting Ugly Revolting Posed Stunts
that produced the most Odd Awkward Simple Unposed pictures
But they made up the most beautiful of my memories!
Look at me, Look at you.
We were carefree
I should think I could make more choices now
But what are the choices that i'm making...
Are they even choices I am making for myself?
Whats a choice being made between options that SUCK
If I had a choice, would I BE making choices like these.
NO.
I didn't choose to become like that.
It happens because it has to.
I really feel aged, OLD, I'm scared of losing feelings
that you only have has a teenager
Feelings and thoughts that adults look down upon
because they think that we are being childish and immature.
But how hard it is really, to be childish and immature.
In a way, I guess they say things like that because deep down
we all miss it :(
When life was simple
MY values meant my values
not YOUR values or THEIR values.
This is what you want? Then why aren't you doing it.
You are unhappy? Then why are you doing it?
SUPPOSED TO? I don't understand that
It seems straightforward to me ...
But HEY, what do I know right.
Afterall, I'm just a child
Lack of responsibility,
someone to turn to when you don't know what to do
to tell you that what you are doing is wrong
who knows what is going on when you.don't.
Parents who make you feel like,
no matter the bad things you do,
in the end the consequence is nothing more
than a caning and scolding
but there was never a point where you were AFRAID to live because
there was always a guide
preventing you from doing anything that you would REGRET
------ i hate words like these
I hate cheem vocabulary
WTH is 'Societal expectations' ?
I hate alcohol
I hate clubs and movies rated M18 and R21
I dont want to grow up!
but by the time you realise you dont want to grow up,
dearie, you're grown up
WOW THANKS FOR NOTHING
How sucky is reality
I want to play in the Ikea ballrooms
I like how we are so underaged to do anything ' fun '
that we always ended up making our own FUN
that everything was fun
I want to lie in playgrounds and complain about being bitten by mosquitoes
I want to crush on a boy for no more a reason than the fact that he is Cute.
I want to remember what my first love was
I want to feel that agony and fear when you knew you were about to be punished
I want to buy sausages worth 10cents in the canteen
I want to have to cry and beg and pout just to get a barbie doll.
I can eat what i want and just shit it out later.
I'm fat, here comes 10yrs of failed dieting
I like crazy
I like jumping around and falling after that
I like squeezing 4 people on 1 peuny bike
and Zooming down a flight of 3 steps
I like Tin-tin magazines
I like pretending I was grown up.
I like wishing I was grown up.
I like a lot of things
I want a lot of things
that I simply cannot have. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2011.11:53 pm] |
Gloria " when you were young you sang everything and really believed it "
---proceeds to start head banging to rock music
HAHA :D |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2011.10:45 pm] |
THE INTERNET IS FULL OF SHIT THAT NEVER FAILS TO AMUSE ME
and the responses/comments people give .. omg ...
lolllll THANK GOD FOR THE CREATION OF PEOPLE and that we are so fallen and retarded HAHAHAHAHA
seriously TEARING who needs joke books
ON ANOTHER NOTE.
NO JOKE.
i actually understand now why some people are bulimic
I MEAN OMG
Its like I fulfilled every food craving I had today
hotcakes fries ice cream bread cheese curry cake carrots scones waffles tauhuay cereal chocolate
My tummy membranes are slowly being eroded away
Im sorry I abuse my body this way
And yes I bought a knitted rabbit sweater and a strawberry hat ...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME |
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